Celebrating Love: Queer Jewish Weddings That Honor Tradition and Identity

Jewish weddings have always been a rich tapestry of ritual, symbolism, and joy. Queer Jewish couples have brought new layers of meaning, creativity, and authenticity to the chuppah. By blending age-old traditions with modern values of inclusivity and self-expression, queer Jewish weddings are helping redefine what it means to build a Jewish home rooted in love.

If you're planning a same-sex or gender-diverse Jewish wedding, or simply want to make your celebration inclusive, this guide is for you.

Reimagining Tradition

Jewish weddings are full of ancient customs—from circling to breaking the glass to the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot). For queer couples, the goal isn’t to abandon these rituals, but to reinterpret them in ways that affirm who they are.

Language That Affirms

Language matters—especially in sacred moments. Here are some gender-inclusive terms and phrases to consider:

• “Beloveds” or “partners” instead of “bride and groom,” or simply “groom and groom,” “bride and bride,” “name and name,”
  or whatever the couple prefers.

• Using each person’s chosen pronouns throughout the service and honors

Remember: every couple’s journey is unique. The right language is the one that feels true to you.

Honoring Family While Honoring Self

Navigating family expectations can be challenging, especially when queerness and tradition intersect. It’s okay to lovingly set boundaries, include rituals that resonate, and omit those that don’t. Some families need time to learn, adjust, or even grieve their assumptions. This is part of the sacred process too.

Queer Jewish weddings offer an opportunity to teach, to connect across generations, and to expand the collective understanding of what holiness looks like.

Finding the Right Officiant

Choosing an officiant who affirms your identity is essential. Many rabbis and cantors, particularly those in Reform, Reconstructionist, and Renewal movements are experienced in officiating LGBTQ+ weddings. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about language, ritual, and how they’ve supported queer couples in the past.

If you’re looking for someone who understands how to balance deep Jewish tradition with queer-centered spirituality, I’d love to help guide you or officiate your ceremony with care and love.

A Sacred Celebration of Who You Are

At its heart, a Jewish wedding is a covenant—a sacred promise to build a life of mutual respect, joy, and support. Queer weddings, in particular, model resilience, creativity, and courage. They invite us all to remember that Judaism is a living, evolving tradition, capable of embracing every kind of love and every kind of family.

Planning your queer Jewish wedding? I help couples design ceremonies that are inclusive, heartfelt, and rooted in Jewish meaning. Whether you're already out and proud or still navigating family dynamics, you deserve a wedding that reflects your truth.

Let’s create something beautiful together.